What is abuse: an attempt to control the behaviour of another person. It is a misuse of power which uses the bonds of intimacy, trust and dependency to make the victim vulnerable.
Although there are many types of abuse, child abuse and domestic abuse are the most commonly hear of. The one that hits closest to home for me is domestic abuse. There are five main forms of domestic abuse; physical, sexual, verbal/emotional, financial/economic, and psychological/isolation. All abusers are dysfunctional individuals, insecure and unable to have a relationship unless they are in complete control. A relationship with them will turn into a toxic one. Abusers use fear, guilt, shame and intimidation to ensure that you are kept under their influence. They may threaten to harm you, those you associate with or themselves if they are denied their power over you.
Domestic abuse and violence can happen to anyone, even when you don’t expect it or realize it. It can happen in both heterosexual and same-sex partnerships, within any age range, race, religion, ethnicity and economic levels. And while it is more common for women to be the victims, men are also abused. Yet no matter where the abuse is coming from, whether a man, woman or teenager etc. it is not acceptable. No one should ever have to feel like they are trapped without any means of escape; you deserve to be treated with respect and feel safe with the one you love.
When most people think abuse, they think physically.. domestic violence is the act of using physical force against your partner that injures or endangers them. It is the most commonly heard of and is a crime. The police can help to protect you from more physical attacks. Sexual abuse is also a form of physical abuse. Any situation when you are forced to participate in unsafe, unwanted or degrading sexual activities is sexual abuse. Forced sex, even with your intimate partner, is an act of assault and violence. People whose partners physically or sexualy abuse them are at higher risk of being seriously injured or killed. Your body is your own and absolutely no one has the right to touch, harm or assault you in anyway. Even if they are your beloved partner.
There are several types of abuse and even if there is no sign of physical violence, that does not mean it isn’t abuse. Just because you’re not scarred and bruised doesn’t mean you’re not being abused. Emotional abuse is a big problem, and many people are emotionally and verbally abused, this can be destructive and often very confusing. It can include name-calling, yelling, shaming and threatening etc. Intimidation, isolation, and controlling behaviour are also forms of emotional abuse. Unfortunately emotional abuse is frequently overlooked.. even by the person being abused. Often with emotional abuse, the abuser’s objective is to work at lowering your feelings of self worth and your independance. If you are the victim of emotional abuse you may feel like there is no way out or that without your partner you have nothing.. this is most definitely not true, one person can not define you, they are not your everything. The scars of emotional abuse may not be visible but they are very real and although it may not seem like it, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse.. sometimes even more so.
Now you may think that abusers are not in control of their actions, that its just the way they are, but you’re wrong. They are most definitely in control and their behaviour is a deliberate choice. They are able to pick and chose when to abuse, where to abuse, and whom to abuse.. they can decide not to and yet still do. There are many signs to an abusive relationship. Fear is the biggest pointer. If you feel like you are constantly ‘tiptoeing’ around your partner, watching what you say and do to avoid their anger, then your relationship is most likely unhealthy and abusive. Other signs may include a partner who brings you down, controlling mannerisms and your own feelings of helplessness, self-loathing and despair etc. If you are unsure of your relationship answer the questions on this site, you can also use the Woodbridge D.V.R.T checklist found here. If you now feel like you may be in an abusive relationship, I beg you to seek help. It will be hard but you need to find a way out or soon you will lose yourself and it will seem you have gone to far to leave. Believe me it is a torturous, never ending cycle.. that will not change.. no matter how many times your partner has said it will.
If you or anyone you know is involved in an abusive relationship it is not too late for escape. Act now, you do not have to allow domestic abuse to continue. No matter how many how many times you convince yourself that you partner loves you, that it’s not their fault and that you still love them, it doesn’t change the fact that abuse is wrong. Please become educated and if needed use the hotlines listed below. You are not alone, you can be truly loved by another.. this is not the end of your world. Your whole life is ahead of you, don’t let one insignificant person hold you back.
In the US: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.
Australia: call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.
The National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 (available 24/7)
Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis centers.
U.S. and Canada: The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women
Although there are many types of abuse, child abuse and domestic abuse are the most commonly hear of. The one that hits closest to home for me is domestic abuse. There are five main forms of domestic abuse; physical, sexual, verbal/emotional, financial/economic, and psychological/isolation. All abusers are dysfunctional individuals, insecure and unable to have a relationship unless they are in complete control. A relationship with them will turn into a toxic one. Abusers use fear, guilt, shame and intimidation to ensure that you are kept under their influence. They may threaten to harm you, those you associate with or themselves if they are denied their power over you.
Domestic abuse and violence can happen to anyone, even when you don’t expect it or realize it. It can happen in both heterosexual and same-sex partnerships, within any age range, race, religion, ethnicity and economic levels. And while it is more common for women to be the victims, men are also abused. Yet no matter where the abuse is coming from, whether a man, woman or teenager etc. it is not acceptable. No one should ever have to feel like they are trapped without any means of escape; you deserve to be treated with respect and feel safe with the one you love.
When most people think abuse, they think physically.. domestic violence is the act of using physical force against your partner that injures or endangers them. It is the most commonly heard of and is a crime. The police can help to protect you from more physical attacks. Sexual abuse is also a form of physical abuse. Any situation when you are forced to participate in unsafe, unwanted or degrading sexual activities is sexual abuse. Forced sex, even with your intimate partner, is an act of assault and violence. People whose partners physically or sexualy abuse them are at higher risk of being seriously injured or killed. Your body is your own and absolutely no one has the right to touch, harm or assault you in anyway. Even if they are your beloved partner.
There are several types of abuse and even if there is no sign of physical violence, that does not mean it isn’t abuse. Just because you’re not scarred and bruised doesn’t mean you’re not being abused. Emotional abuse is a big problem, and many people are emotionally and verbally abused, this can be destructive and often very confusing. It can include name-calling, yelling, shaming and threatening etc. Intimidation, isolation, and controlling behaviour are also forms of emotional abuse. Unfortunately emotional abuse is frequently overlooked.. even by the person being abused. Often with emotional abuse, the abuser’s objective is to work at lowering your feelings of self worth and your independance. If you are the victim of emotional abuse you may feel like there is no way out or that without your partner you have nothing.. this is most definitely not true, one person can not define you, they are not your everything. The scars of emotional abuse may not be visible but they are very real and although it may not seem like it, emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse.. sometimes even more so.
Now you may think that abusers are not in control of their actions, that its just the way they are, but you’re wrong. They are most definitely in control and their behaviour is a deliberate choice. They are able to pick and chose when to abuse, where to abuse, and whom to abuse.. they can decide not to and yet still do. There are many signs to an abusive relationship. Fear is the biggest pointer. If you feel like you are constantly ‘tiptoeing’ around your partner, watching what you say and do to avoid their anger, then your relationship is most likely unhealthy and abusive. Other signs may include a partner who brings you down, controlling mannerisms and your own feelings of helplessness, self-loathing and despair etc. If you are unsure of your relationship answer the questions on this site, you can also use the Woodbridge D.V.R.T checklist found here. If you now feel like you may be in an abusive relationship, I beg you to seek help. It will be hard but you need to find a way out or soon you will lose yourself and it will seem you have gone to far to leave. Believe me it is a torturous, never ending cycle.. that will not change.. no matter how many times your partner has said it will.
If you or anyone you know is involved in an abusive relationship it is not too late for escape. Act now, you do not have to allow domestic abuse to continue. No matter how many how many times you convince yourself that you partner loves you, that it’s not their fault and that you still love them, it doesn’t change the fact that abuse is wrong. Please become educated and if needed use the hotlines listed below. You are not alone, you can be truly loved by another.. this is not the end of your world. Your whole life is ahead of you, don’t let one insignificant person hold you back.
In the US: call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE).
UK: call Women’s Aid at 0808 2000 247.
Australia: call 1800RESPECT at 1800 737 732.
The National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 (available 24/7)
Worldwide: visit International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for a global list of helplines and crisis centers.
U.S. and Canada: The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women